The Failure of Age Segregation

In previous posts, we’ve discussed the failure of traditional paradigms of youth ministry. The reasons for its shortcomings are myriad , but none of them is larger than the age segregation that these ministries employ . Today, instead of the church becoming a church for families, the church has increasingly sought to appeal to each family member as individuals rather than collectively. There is church for children, church for high schoolers, and church for adults. On the surface, this separation according to age seems innocent, even necessary, but think of the division it causes within a church. Unintentionally, too often these ministries have become “churches within a church,” each having its own niche in the market but seldom, if ever, crossing paths with one another.

These divisions, unfortunately, create unique problems within the church, none larger than the trouble our youth eventually have in assimilating into the church at large. Our kids feel comfortable and at home in youth group, but the longer they’re in youth group, the more “adult church” seems like a foreign land. Though they feel to be part of the youth group, they don’t feel like part of the church at large. Our churches end up thus being a microcosm of our society at large, where teenagers have become a strange subculture of which adults are desperately afraid. As Tracy Waal says, “We have invented a foreign species called Teenager. They live in ghettos called Schools. A few of them visit Christian ghettos called Youth Groups on weekends. We are afraid of what is becoming of this species, but all our answers seem to revolve around throwing more resources at the development of the ghettos.”

This division where both parties seem distant from one another, if not afraid, is the natural conclusion of age segregated ministry. If neither group rubs shoulders with one another, how can we expect any other outcome? Further, when such a gulf exists between “youth church” and “adult church,” why should we be surprised when our kids leave youth group and never come back to church? After spending years tucked away in the nursery and youth group, they largely see “adult church” as being alien and irrelevant to their lives once they graduate from their age-segregated cloister known as “youth group.” Sadly, our kids never end up seeing the church at large as theirs to begin with.

Many youth leaders have made these observations of the deleterious effects of “age segregation” so prevalent in the church today. Youth today are in desperate need of mature Christian influences, but kids church and youth group is structured in such a way that this mature influence is difficult, if not impossible, to come by. As a result of this isolation and segregation in their younger years, many believers who were raised in these traditional programs report that their knowledge of the mature Christian life remains incomplete even into adulthood.

As Dennis Muse, leader of The Crowded House reminds us, Jesus never said “'let the little children be packed away in the nursery” but rather He said, ‘let the little children come to me.’” Try to imagine, if you can, the children being led to Children's Church during the Sermon on the Mount. Such an idea is ridiculous! As integral parts of the body of Christ, should our children be segregated from us, or should they be part of our gatherings, free to worship Christ in the same manner we are? Is not children combining with their parents to worship Jesus far closer to God’s heart than our age-segregated inventions?

Are children really a deterrent to our own spiritual development as adults? Perhaps our children can instruct us about God as readily as we can instruct them. Jesus said that “unless you are like a little child, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Maybe Jesus really meant what he said, and our children have so much more to offer us spiritually than we as sophisticated adults might realize.

Further, the church as a whole needs to take seriously its mandate to provide spiritual leadership for the next generation to follow Jesus. This can’t be done by a faceless program, but must be done by every member of the church. Every member of the church must recognize that it is not only the job of those “called to youth ministry” to raise our children, but is the responsibility of each and every member of the Body of Christ. Both children and adults both need each other if they are to grow spiritually; adults need children to edify them and draw them closer to God, and children need adults to provide the mature leadership they so desperately need.

It would seem, then, that such an attitude of ministry to our children would preclude “age segregation” that is so prevalent in today’s churches. Imagine, if you will, a church where adults, children, and teens are integrated together as one as part of Christ’s body. Imagine a church where children are exposed to the real needs of the community at large, are encouraged to pray for them, and rejoice when God intervenes on their behalf. Imagine a church where children serve the poor alongside their parents and truly make a difference in the world outside the church’s walls. Imagine a church where our kids are surrounded on Sunday mornings by an extended family of spiritual aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine being a part of a church that truly is a church for people instead of a church for segregated market segments. Perhaps this would be the beginning of a revolution in youth ministry in our midst that is long overdue.