So as we began to discuss in our last post: which should be the primary focus of the church: growth or evangelism? Is discipleship at odds with outreach...or should they in fact be one and the same? As Ed Waken says, "Discipleship is the new evangelism." Is this in fact correct?
I was in a discussion with a friend of mine recently that gave me a new insight into this question. Our discussion revolved around the age-old question, "who really is a Christian?" As we sought to answer this question, we came to Matthew 7, where Jesus says some of the most sobering words in all of Scripture: "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" (Matt. 7:21,22). In this passage, Jesus' point is evident: Jesus cares little for religious and outward acts of obedience, but will have only one interest on the day of judgment: did we truly know Him? Obviously, such knowing is not a mere intellectual understanding or belief of things about Him; as James says, "the devils also believe [in such a sense], and tremble" (Jas. 2:19). Just because I know where my wife was born, her date of birth, and so on does not mean I truly know her; to know her on a personal level is a level of intimacy that far surpasses mere intellectual understanding. Thus, it's clear that Jesus' point is that He will care little on that day about our moral achievements, but will only be interested in the depth of our relationship with Him; did we know Him, and live in intimate, loving relationship with Him? As many have rightly said, Jesus came to offer us not religion, but relationship; an intimate relationship with the King of the Universe. Just as Paul counted his previous religious accomplishments as "rubbish... compared to "the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Phil. 3:7), there is only one thing that matters to our Lord: that we learn to walk in a loving relationship with our Him our Friend and King. This love relationship is the ultimate goal and purpose of the redemption Christ purchased for us at the Cross.
After we discussed these ideas, we then asked the obvious next question: what does it look like to know and be in relationship with Jesus in this way? If those who are truly "in Christ" are only those who are truly in relationship with Him, how can we know if that is indeed us? Where is the dividing line between the "saved" and "unsaved"? Perhaps you have wrestled with this very question. If the only thing Jesus cares about is if we are in relationship with Him...then where do you draw the line between real believers and just pretenders? To religious and analytical minds like you and me, face it: we naturally want a dividing line less nebulous and ill-defined. At the end of the day, we really want to know who's in and who's out, don't we?
However, behind all these questions lies our real question: what is the bare, irreducible minimum for salvation? What is the least I must do to make it to Heaven when I die? If our only aim is to discover the minimum requirements for "knowing Jesus," then to quote Paul in a different context "we are of all men most miserable" (1 Cor. 15:19). In fact, one wonders if we can truly know Jesus personally at all while asking such questions, for pursuit of the bare minimum stands diametrically opposed to the concept of love itself. If I were to ask my wife, "what is the bare minimum I have to do to love you?", clearly that proves I do not understand love to begin with, does it not? Rather, if I truly love my wife, I will not need a checklist of requirements to relate to her properly. Similarly, instead of seeking to understand the bare minimum requirements for salvation, should we not rather be asking how a passionate, radical, and loving relationship with Jesus is truly pursued...as this is all Jesus desires for us anyway?
Sadly, the vast majority of what the church has traditionally called "evangelism" over the last few decades has revolved around this same preoccupation with these bare minimum legal requirements. Over the last few decades, we have reduced "believing in Jesus" to merely accepting doctrinal requirements rather than the passionate pursuit of a reckless Lover. In our obsession over winning "converts" to Jesus and seeing them resultingly cross over from death to life (at least in the sense of their eternal destiny, but when limited to this is a diminished understanding of eternal life!), we have come to implicitly view salvation as a end to itself, rather than the mere beginning of God's ultimate goal of a loving relationship with Him. Is it any wonder that with this "minimum requirement" view of salvation, being largely content to just get people over the "official" line of faith, that we've so longed proclaimed we find discipleship and outreach at odds?
So which should the church pursue first: outreach or growth? Evangelism or discipleship? If, as already discussed, mankind living in loving relationship with Himself is God's ultimate desire, should we not stress the call of Jesus to discipleship and loving devotion to Himself...rather than the calcified bare minimum requirements for salvation? Is getting people to confess Christ and say a prayer all it's cracked up to be? God has a far more glorious call to us than this "fire insurance" mentality! Maybe this is why Jesus said "go into all the world and make disciples" rather than "go into all the world and preach salvation," for His call to follow Himself is issued equally to both believer and unbeliever. Indeed, our salvation is found in our discipleship! When we understand salvation as this overarching call to discipleship, the supposed tension between discipleship and evangelism quickly vanish. In the light of Christ's call to relationship with Himself, we find that the pursuit of spiritual growth and missional outreach is in fact one and the same.
So with such theological conclusions in hand, how should they affect our walk with Jesus and our missional impact in the world? What implications does it have? We will discuss this further in our next post.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Growth vs. Mission: Which Is It?
For years, many in the church have struggled to reconcile the apparent tension between discipleship and evangelism, or between growth and outreach. What is the primary mission of the church? Is it to reach those outside, or is it to build up those inside? Is church primarily for the unbeliever, or for the believer? Should mission flow out of community, or should community flow out of mission? Should it be growth, discipleship, or community taking center stage in our church, or should we strive first for evangelism, outreach, or mission?
The answers to such questions are not irrelevant theological points: rather, they are of critical and far-reaching importance, as the DNA and basic structure of nearly every church community flows out of their answers to these questions. In an attempt to resolve this tension, some churches make their primary aim to reach those outside the church. As those far from God are now brought into relationship with Him, they reason, community will naturally emerge in the pursuit of that common goal. Still others lean towards equipping and building up the believer in their meetings, assuming that if that goal is achieved, mission will naturally flow out of their lives during the week. Nearly all churches fall into one of these two camps to some degree, and they can often adhere to their position on this issue passionately; witness the deep objections many believers have over the "seeker service" pioneered by Willow Creek, for example. Even many church splits over seemingly trivial issues, such as updating to a "contemporary worship service" for example, are at their core splits over this same fundamental question: who is this church really for? Is it for those outside or inside? Should we alter our structure for the sake of those outside our community, or should we focus on keeping the insiders happy? Deep down, most Christians can't believe you can do both, and they tend to pick one side or the other. It is this supposed contradiction between discipleship/growth and evangelism/outreach that fuels much of the divisions in today's church.
So which should take precedence, you ask? Evangelism or discipleship? Though both approaches have their validity and solid Biblical footing, picking either side in this debate betrays a fundamentally flawed logic: that community, discipleship, and spiritual growth is naturally at odds with outreach, mission, and evangelism, and that one cannot be pursued simultaneously along with the other. But is it possible that discipleship and evangelism can not only be done together, but in fact should be and are one and the same?
We will explore this idea further in our next post.
The answers to such questions are not irrelevant theological points: rather, they are of critical and far-reaching importance, as the DNA and basic structure of nearly every church community flows out of their answers to these questions. In an attempt to resolve this tension, some churches make their primary aim to reach those outside the church. As those far from God are now brought into relationship with Him, they reason, community will naturally emerge in the pursuit of that common goal. Still others lean towards equipping and building up the believer in their meetings, assuming that if that goal is achieved, mission will naturally flow out of their lives during the week. Nearly all churches fall into one of these two camps to some degree, and they can often adhere to their position on this issue passionately; witness the deep objections many believers have over the "seeker service" pioneered by Willow Creek, for example. Even many church splits over seemingly trivial issues, such as updating to a "contemporary worship service" for example, are at their core splits over this same fundamental question: who is this church really for? Is it for those outside or inside? Should we alter our structure for the sake of those outside our community, or should we focus on keeping the insiders happy? Deep down, most Christians can't believe you can do both, and they tend to pick one side or the other. It is this supposed contradiction between discipleship/growth and evangelism/outreach that fuels much of the divisions in today's church.
So which should take precedence, you ask? Evangelism or discipleship? Though both approaches have their validity and solid Biblical footing, picking either side in this debate betrays a fundamentally flawed logic: that community, discipleship, and spiritual growth is naturally at odds with outreach, mission, and evangelism, and that one cannot be pursued simultaneously along with the other. But is it possible that discipleship and evangelism can not only be done together, but in fact should be and are one and the same?
We will explore this idea further in our next post.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Spiritual Schizophrenia...And Its Cure
All Christians have experienced what we can call "spiritual schizophrenia" on a regular basis. We find in ourselves two voices, two natures; one the old, selfish way of living that the Bible calls "old nature" or "the flesh," and the other that longs to please God and live in a manner that pleases Him, what the Bible calls the "new nature." These two natures fight and war with one another on a daily basis, and we struggle and strive to live by this new nature rather than the old. And this struggle never seems to end, does it? We long more than anything else to "get it right," learning to finally live by this new nature and live a life pleasing to Him after all He's done for us. And if we can't do this...well, He won't be pleased with us, and our relationship with Him will suffer, we're told. And after years of this struggle and pressure to please God...well, I just get tired. Don't you? I can't seem to even remember all the things God asks me to do, much less do them. Once I feel I am getting a handle on my materialism, for instance, my pride seems to be a problem. I try really, really hard to be more humble (can you really try to be humble? Seems like an oxymoron, but I digress...), but as soon as I improve there, I realize I need to be more patient with my kids. So I work on that...only to find I am not sharing my faith like I should. And on and on it goes. If you are a follower of Jesus, I'm sure you can relate. In fact, the apostle Paul did so himself; this very struggle is the topic of Romans 7. As Paul writes in a parallel passage in Galatians 5, "For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want" (Gal. 5:17). Over the centuries, this frustration and struggle produced by these two warring natures has been experienced by all followers of Jesus.
But as Paul says in the very next verse in Galatians, "if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law." Could it be that in Christ, God makes no demands on His children whatsoever, and we are hence "free from law"? Could it be that all of our striving and struggling, in light of this new "law of the Spirit of life" ushered in by Christ's work, is all in vain? Paul goes on in this passge to describe for us the "fruit of the Spirit" that can only be produced by "walking in the spirit": love, joy, peace, self control, to name but a few. These attributes and fruits of a "holy life" are exactly that: attributes and fruits, none of which can be produced by our efforts, struggle, or striving. Just as a tree cannot "try" to produce fruit, neither can we.
Further, these attributes become meaningless and vain if they are sought in themselves as ethical ideals or to meet an obligation to God; any righteousness produced by our striving (and there indeed can be some!) is in fact "righteousness by law" rather than "the righteousness of Christ by faith" (Phil. 3:9) that God really desires for His children. Hence, these true fruits of the Spirit can only be descriptions of what real life looks like, and by definition are not prescriptions for how we get life. In fact...might the entire New Testament , and all the ethical "commands" of Jesus and Paul be descriptive of life in God rather than prescriptive commands? Come to think of it, maybe His grace really is all we need! And as long as we continue to misunderstand His grace and fail to recognize that we are already righteous in Christ, mistakingly thinking that God still has demands and expectations of us...we'll continue our ceaseless efforts to “earn” God’s favor and gain points on our scorecard with a God who's no longer keeping score. As Paul writes, "it is [only] God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Phil 2:13)." At the moment we try to get on that treadmill of "getting it right", it becomes a self-righteous effort to accomplish what Christ already accomplished for us at the Cross; at best, this results in a righteousness far from the righteousness that Christ has in mind for us.
So what, then, does such effortless, yet fruitful Christian living look like? How is achieved? Simply asking the question demonstrates our ingrained religious thinking, as we again seek a five point sermon, flowchart, or “cookie-cutter” formula that will release us to Spirit-led living. Just as our forefathers under the law, we would much rather run to a formula, prescription, method, or a human mediator instead of seeking God for ourselves. No man can teach another how to personally know and experience God under the New Covenant (Heb. 8:12), but we are promised that He will freely reveal Himself to anyone who is willing to truly seek Him (Jn 7:17, Heb. 11:6) And as we experience and learn to live in this unconditional, agenda-less Love of the Father, we will increasingly find that through no effort of our own, the fruit of a holy life begins to be produced. This transformation cannot be found through religion, rule keeping, or principles, but only through a personal encounter with Love in the depths of our being. Truly, such a glimpse of His glory with the eyes of faith will make us like Him (1 John 3:2) in a way that religion cannot. Oh, that we would learn to enter that rest that is found in God Himself, and find Him transforming us in the innermost parts through that encounter! May God guide us in this quest, and tangibly demonstrate to us that His grace is truly enough!
But as Paul says in the very next verse in Galatians, "if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law." Could it be that in Christ, God makes no demands on His children whatsoever, and we are hence "free from law"? Could it be that all of our striving and struggling, in light of this new "law of the Spirit of life" ushered in by Christ's work, is all in vain? Paul goes on in this passge to describe for us the "fruit of the Spirit" that can only be produced by "walking in the spirit": love, joy, peace, self control, to name but a few. These attributes and fruits of a "holy life" are exactly that: attributes and fruits, none of which can be produced by our efforts, struggle, or striving. Just as a tree cannot "try" to produce fruit, neither can we.
Further, these attributes become meaningless and vain if they are sought in themselves as ethical ideals or to meet an obligation to God; any righteousness produced by our striving (and there indeed can be some!) is in fact "righteousness by law" rather than "the righteousness of Christ by faith" (Phil. 3:9) that God really desires for His children. Hence, these true fruits of the Spirit can only be descriptions of what real life looks like, and by definition are not prescriptions for how we get life. In fact...might the entire New Testament , and all the ethical "commands" of Jesus and Paul be descriptive of life in God rather than prescriptive commands? Come to think of it, maybe His grace really is all we need! And as long as we continue to misunderstand His grace and fail to recognize that we are already righteous in Christ, mistakingly thinking that God still has demands and expectations of us...we'll continue our ceaseless efforts to “earn” God’s favor and gain points on our scorecard with a God who's no longer keeping score. As Paul writes, "it is [only] God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Phil 2:13)." At the moment we try to get on that treadmill of "getting it right", it becomes a self-righteous effort to accomplish what Christ already accomplished for us at the Cross; at best, this results in a righteousness far from the righteousness that Christ has in mind for us.
So what, then, does such effortless, yet fruitful Christian living look like? How is achieved? Simply asking the question demonstrates our ingrained religious thinking, as we again seek a five point sermon, flowchart, or “cookie-cutter” formula that will release us to Spirit-led living. Just as our forefathers under the law, we would much rather run to a formula, prescription, method, or a human mediator instead of seeking God for ourselves. No man can teach another how to personally know and experience God under the New Covenant (Heb. 8:12), but we are promised that He will freely reveal Himself to anyone who is willing to truly seek Him (Jn 7:17, Heb. 11:6) And as we experience and learn to live in this unconditional, agenda-less Love of the Father, we will increasingly find that through no effort of our own, the fruit of a holy life begins to be produced. This transformation cannot be found through religion, rule keeping, or principles, but only through a personal encounter with Love in the depths of our being. Truly, such a glimpse of His glory with the eyes of faith will make us like Him (1 John 3:2) in a way that religion cannot. Oh, that we would learn to enter that rest that is found in God Himself, and find Him transforming us in the innermost parts through that encounter! May God guide us in this quest, and tangibly demonstrate to us that His grace is truly enough!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Value of Discipleship
Proverbs 20:5 reads, “the purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Truly, the depths of the human soul are staggering and beyond our grasp. Though unlike our Maker we are finite beings, Scripture is clear that we are indeed made in the image of this infinite, invisible God. As such, the human heart possesses a vastness, richness, and depth that we can never fully probe or understand. As 1 Corinthians 2 asks, “who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” Yet I must confess that as the years pass, I increasingly find I have been unaware of many of my own motives, fears, and hopes hidden deeply inside the recesses of my soul. I find I can scarcely understand the hidden stirrings of my own heart at times, much less those of another. Can anyone really say with honesty, even in the most intimate of marriages, that they fully understand their spouse and connect with them fully in the deepest reaches of their being? So it is to be made in the image of God, an infinite being Who it will take all eternity to fully appreciate and understand. How deep, eternal, and vast the human soul is in that reflection, with eternity set inside its unfathomable depths (Ecc. 3:11)! Truly, as the Psalmist says, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14) in the vastness and richness God has placed in our souls.
With this eternal glory of the human heart in view, CS Lewis wrote these well-known words: “ It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare… There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” If this is indeed true, there is no greater calling given to human beings than to accompany another in a journey of the heart towards God. This quest is not one towards mere intellectual acceptance of theological concepts or moral principles, but a transforming encounter of one’s soul with its infinite and divine Creator. To walk with another on such a soul journey, experiencing together the healing touch of the resurrected Jesus in the deepest reaches of their soul, is a calling that truly transcends time and space, and one to which all the other pursuits of life seem vain in comparison.
Yet how ironic that we persist in measuring ministry success in terms of buildings, bodies, and programs, all the while overlooking this far more noble and eternal calling of discipleship and spiritual companionship that God has given His people. How sad that Christ’s workers often live in a spirit of defeat, feeling they are a failure if their church plant does not grow in exponential fashion. Would laboring in obscurity be so difficult for us if we simply realized the enormous depth and value of just one human heart? Truly, a lifetime of struggle for the sake of His kingdom is but "a momentary and light affliction" (2 Cor. 4:17) compared to this glorious work. Cathedrals will crumble, ministries will fail, and the applause of others will fade; but the privilege of accompanying another on a journey towards their inner transformation will last and bear fruit through all of eternity.
Truly, there are no mere mortals among us. May this highest of callings Christ has given us to “go into all the world and make disciples” be our only passion in light of the unsurpassing riches hidden in just one human heart. It is the only eternal work that is worth devoting ourselves to.
With this eternal glory of the human heart in view, CS Lewis wrote these well-known words: “ It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare… There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” If this is indeed true, there is no greater calling given to human beings than to accompany another in a journey of the heart towards God. This quest is not one towards mere intellectual acceptance of theological concepts or moral principles, but a transforming encounter of one’s soul with its infinite and divine Creator. To walk with another on such a soul journey, experiencing together the healing touch of the resurrected Jesus in the deepest reaches of their soul, is a calling that truly transcends time and space, and one to which all the other pursuits of life seem vain in comparison.
Yet how ironic that we persist in measuring ministry success in terms of buildings, bodies, and programs, all the while overlooking this far more noble and eternal calling of discipleship and spiritual companionship that God has given His people. How sad that Christ’s workers often live in a spirit of defeat, feeling they are a failure if their church plant does not grow in exponential fashion. Would laboring in obscurity be so difficult for us if we simply realized the enormous depth and value of just one human heart? Truly, a lifetime of struggle for the sake of His kingdom is but "a momentary and light affliction" (2 Cor. 4:17) compared to this glorious work. Cathedrals will crumble, ministries will fail, and the applause of others will fade; but the privilege of accompanying another on a journey towards their inner transformation will last and bear fruit through all of eternity.
Truly, there are no mere mortals among us. May this highest of callings Christ has given us to “go into all the world and make disciples” be our only passion in light of the unsurpassing riches hidden in just one human heart. It is the only eternal work that is worth devoting ourselves to.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Kids’ Ministry: A New Scorecard for Success
As we’ve discussed in our last few posts, though traditional churches may make every effort to reach our children, a consumer-based paradigm of children’s ministry has serious flaws. As one calls it, pep-rally, just add water Christianity has been tried and found wanting.
As we seek a church home for our children, we must ask ourselves what our highest goal really is. For indeed, if our only goal for our children is to keep them in the church, off the streets, and off of drugs, our current mode of youth ministry will do just fine. But if our goal is a higher one, that our children might passionately love Jesus, youth ministry as we know it needs a radical overhaul. Survey after survey underscores the indisputable nature of this truth.
Suppose your child spends his entire life in the church, and passes through children’s church, junior high church, and youth group unscathed. Suppose he or she is one of the 10-20% of kids that not only graduates from youth group, but stays in the church. If everything goes according to plan, and even if he bucks the odds and stays in the church after all is said and done, is he really any better off? Kids’ church and youth group as it is presently constructed will produce children just like us; interested in Jesus, but not fully dedicated; loving Jesus, yet loving themselves; having a heart for the lost, but having little impact; wanting adventure for God, but shackled by the American dream. I don’t know about you, but my hopes for my children are so much more than this. If my children aspire to being just like their old man, that is a sad state of affairs indeed. For if I remain the highest example of the successful Christian life to my children, unoffensive, meek, and mild, I have failed in my mentorship of them. My hope and prayer for my children is that they might transcend the meager example that I have set, and truly “turn the world upside down” as the early church did. I truly believe that this will only be possible if they know a different church world than I have, where radical service, countercultural living, and the contagious spread of the gospel is the rule rather than the exception.
As we seek a church home for our children, we must ask ourselves what our highest goal really is. For indeed, if our only goal for our children is to keep them in the church, off the streets, and off of drugs, our current mode of youth ministry will do just fine. But if our goal is a higher one, that our children might passionately love Jesus, youth ministry as we know it needs a radical overhaul. Survey after survey underscores the indisputable nature of this truth.
Suppose your child spends his entire life in the church, and passes through children’s church, junior high church, and youth group unscathed. Suppose he or she is one of the 10-20% of kids that not only graduates from youth group, but stays in the church. If everything goes according to plan, and even if he bucks the odds and stays in the church after all is said and done, is he really any better off? Kids’ church and youth group as it is presently constructed will produce children just like us; interested in Jesus, but not fully dedicated; loving Jesus, yet loving themselves; having a heart for the lost, but having little impact; wanting adventure for God, but shackled by the American dream. I don’t know about you, but my hopes for my children are so much more than this. If my children aspire to being just like their old man, that is a sad state of affairs indeed. For if I remain the highest example of the successful Christian life to my children, unoffensive, meek, and mild, I have failed in my mentorship of them. My hope and prayer for my children is that they might transcend the meager example that I have set, and truly “turn the world upside down” as the early church did. I truly believe that this will only be possible if they know a different church world than I have, where radical service, countercultural living, and the contagious spread of the gospel is the rule rather than the exception.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
A New Paradigm of Family Ministry
In our most recent posts, we’ve been exploring the failures of traditional children’s and youth ministry and discussing what a more Biblical pattern might look like. If we are to truly embrace a more bold and effective template for youth ministry, we must first recognize that parents, not youth ministers, should be the primary spiritual mentors for their children. The church must also realize that its ministries should be divided among family lines rather than age demographics. Further, a truly successful youth ministry must involve the equipping of parents to fulfill the mentorship role for their children.
As previously discussed, it’s clear that “just add water” youth events and whimsical play areas do little to impact our children’s long term spiritual growth. Rather, the spiritual growth of our children always begins in the home. With this in mind, former youth pastor Ray Baumann once made a startling statement: “Youth ministries would be unnecessary if the believers took their mandate to parent seriously.” He goes on to say, “the last place I want my kids to hear about Jesus is on Sunday.” The most important life lessons that children need to learn are impressed upon children by their parents “along the road”, imparted to them in the context of daily living and through a loving mentoring relationship (Deut. 6:7). This is consistent even with the teachings of Jesus, who conducted some of his most meaningful discussions with his disciples between events, “along the road” to their destinations. Research among adolescents confirms these ideas: studies show that the more often families eat together, the better their moral, spiritual, and academic outcomes. How ironic that family meal time together, a far better indicator of our children’s spiritual outcomes, can often be pushed aside by social events at the church! Rather than busying our children with a myriad of church programs, sports, or other extracurricular activities, perhaps our children’s long term spiritual vitality would improve if we as parents simply spent more time with our children and took seriously our mandate to instruct them in God’s ways.
It is beyond dispute that no one can raise our children “in the nuture and admonition of the Lord” to the same extent that parents are able, youth pastors included. Yet, as any Christian parent will attest, this mandate is not an easy task. Our natural inclination, when feeling overwhelmed by such a responsibility, is to defer to the “faith specialists” in this area. It is certainly easier to let a faceless program disciple our children than to do it ourselves, even if that program does have a high failure rate. Too many parents feel they have neither authority or wisdom to offer their teenage children. Consequently, many Christian parents have come to believe that raising up their children to love Jesus simply means dropping them off at the various youth events the church offers, with hopes that these efforts alone will foster their spiritual growth.
But what does it look like to really disciple our kids, then? If age segregation and outsourcing to specialists isn’t the answer, what would a better option look like? I believe it starts with the church’s efforts to build into the family as a whole rather than the child as an individual. Its efforts to reach the younger generation must primarily be aimed at bringing the family together in a manner that bridges the generational gaps between its members. Above all, it attempts to make the family the highest priority within the church without the use of age segregation.
For instance, instead of a weekly service that is designed solely for adults, a more organic meeting is a great first step. Rather than avoiding our children in hopes they don’t distract us, children are free to contribute in an organic meeting, as families are able to share in the experience together. In all church endeavors, both Sunday morning meetings and beyond, this church would seek to provide shared experiences for all members of the family collectively.
Second, a new template for family ministry involves a family oriented approach to serving. This new paradigm attempts to divide church ministry into teams of families rather than teams of age demographics. Instead of separating serving projects according to age segments, the church’s serving events are separated into teams of families. This allows parents and children to share in the experience together, and allows parents to demonstrate to their children first-hand what the gospel looks like in action. Families are encouraged to pioneer their own methods of serving the community, in schools, in their neighborhoods, in parks, and on the streets. Youth ministry is not pre-programmed by religious specialists, but is engineered by families and children rising up to meet the challenge. This family oriented model of serving would foster the building of authentic gospel values within the family unit to a much greater extent than traditional models.
Thirdly, this view of family ministry would seek above all to protect and proclaim the value of family time together. The American family has so little time together today; why disrupt family time for the sake of church events? Rather than robbing families of their precious time together by replacing it with church programs, this new paradigm of family ministry recognizes the sanctity of family time. A truly family-based ministry approach must make family time a primary value of the church. This stands in stark contrast with a culture that values busyness over depth and honors production over intimacy.
This list is by no means exhaustive. Part of this new approach to family ministry recognizes the limitless possibilities in this pursuit, and empowers both parents and children to rise up and bridge the gap so prevalent in families today. Ultimately, the answers to these needs of our families will not be answered by youth ministry experts but by teams of father and daughter, mother and son. As relationships are built between parents and their children, and between the church and its children, our children’s long term spiritual growth will be positively affected. I believe that such a grass-roots, participatory approach to “bridging the spiritual gap” within families will produce fruit in our children’s lives as no age-segregated model is able to do.
In agreement with these concepts, Tracy Waal said this after 14 years of youth ministry: “Personal experience in youth ministry shows me that the #1 indicator of a teen’s spiritual longevity and commitment is the degree to which parents are involved in their kid’s spiritual development. The #2 indicator is the degree in which a teen connects with an older spiritual mentor outside the youth group.” A successful new paradigm for youth ministry must serve to make both of these relationships a reality.
As previously discussed, it’s clear that “just add water” youth events and whimsical play areas do little to impact our children’s long term spiritual growth. Rather, the spiritual growth of our children always begins in the home. With this in mind, former youth pastor Ray Baumann once made a startling statement: “Youth ministries would be unnecessary if the believers took their mandate to parent seriously.” He goes on to say, “the last place I want my kids to hear about Jesus is on Sunday.” The most important life lessons that children need to learn are impressed upon children by their parents “along the road”, imparted to them in the context of daily living and through a loving mentoring relationship (Deut. 6:7). This is consistent even with the teachings of Jesus, who conducted some of his most meaningful discussions with his disciples between events, “along the road” to their destinations. Research among adolescents confirms these ideas: studies show that the more often families eat together, the better their moral, spiritual, and academic outcomes. How ironic that family meal time together, a far better indicator of our children’s spiritual outcomes, can often be pushed aside by social events at the church! Rather than busying our children with a myriad of church programs, sports, or other extracurricular activities, perhaps our children’s long term spiritual vitality would improve if we as parents simply spent more time with our children and took seriously our mandate to instruct them in God’s ways.
It is beyond dispute that no one can raise our children “in the nuture and admonition of the Lord” to the same extent that parents are able, youth pastors included. Yet, as any Christian parent will attest, this mandate is not an easy task. Our natural inclination, when feeling overwhelmed by such a responsibility, is to defer to the “faith specialists” in this area. It is certainly easier to let a faceless program disciple our children than to do it ourselves, even if that program does have a high failure rate. Too many parents feel they have neither authority or wisdom to offer their teenage children. Consequently, many Christian parents have come to believe that raising up their children to love Jesus simply means dropping them off at the various youth events the church offers, with hopes that these efforts alone will foster their spiritual growth.
But what does it look like to really disciple our kids, then? If age segregation and outsourcing to specialists isn’t the answer, what would a better option look like? I believe it starts with the church’s efforts to build into the family as a whole rather than the child as an individual. Its efforts to reach the younger generation must primarily be aimed at bringing the family together in a manner that bridges the generational gaps between its members. Above all, it attempts to make the family the highest priority within the church without the use of age segregation.
For instance, instead of a weekly service that is designed solely for adults, a more organic meeting is a great first step. Rather than avoiding our children in hopes they don’t distract us, children are free to contribute in an organic meeting, as families are able to share in the experience together. In all church endeavors, both Sunday morning meetings and beyond, this church would seek to provide shared experiences for all members of the family collectively.
Second, a new template for family ministry involves a family oriented approach to serving. This new paradigm attempts to divide church ministry into teams of families rather than teams of age demographics. Instead of separating serving projects according to age segments, the church’s serving events are separated into teams of families. This allows parents and children to share in the experience together, and allows parents to demonstrate to their children first-hand what the gospel looks like in action. Families are encouraged to pioneer their own methods of serving the community, in schools, in their neighborhoods, in parks, and on the streets. Youth ministry is not pre-programmed by religious specialists, but is engineered by families and children rising up to meet the challenge. This family oriented model of serving would foster the building of authentic gospel values within the family unit to a much greater extent than traditional models.
Thirdly, this view of family ministry would seek above all to protect and proclaim the value of family time together. The American family has so little time together today; why disrupt family time for the sake of church events? Rather than robbing families of their precious time together by replacing it with church programs, this new paradigm of family ministry recognizes the sanctity of family time. A truly family-based ministry approach must make family time a primary value of the church. This stands in stark contrast with a culture that values busyness over depth and honors production over intimacy.
This list is by no means exhaustive. Part of this new approach to family ministry recognizes the limitless possibilities in this pursuit, and empowers both parents and children to rise up and bridge the gap so prevalent in families today. Ultimately, the answers to these needs of our families will not be answered by youth ministry experts but by teams of father and daughter, mother and son. As relationships are built between parents and their children, and between the church and its children, our children’s long term spiritual growth will be positively affected. I believe that such a grass-roots, participatory approach to “bridging the spiritual gap” within families will produce fruit in our children’s lives as no age-segregated model is able to do.
In agreement with these concepts, Tracy Waal said this after 14 years of youth ministry: “Personal experience in youth ministry shows me that the #1 indicator of a teen’s spiritual longevity and commitment is the degree to which parents are involved in their kid’s spiritual development. The #2 indicator is the degree in which a teen connects with an older spiritual mentor outside the youth group.” A successful new paradigm for youth ministry must serve to make both of these relationships a reality.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Failure of Age Segregation
In previous posts, we’ve discussed the failure of traditional paradigms of youth ministry. The reasons for its shortcomings are myriad , but none of them is larger than the age segregation that these ministries employ . Today, instead of the church becoming a church for families, the church has increasingly sought to appeal to each family member as individuals rather than collectively. There is church for children, church for high schoolers, and church for adults. On the surface, this separation according to age seems innocent, even necessary, but think of the division it causes within a church. Unintentionally, too often these ministries have become “churches within a church,” each having its own niche in the market but seldom, if ever, crossing paths with one another.
These divisions, unfortunately, create unique problems within the church, none larger than the trouble our youth eventually have in assimilating into the church at large. Our kids feel comfortable and at home in youth group, but the longer they’re in youth group, the more “adult church” seems like a foreign land. Though they feel to be part of the youth group, they don’t feel like part of the church at large. Our churches end up thus being a microcosm of our society at large, where teenagers have become a strange subculture of which adults are desperately afraid. As Tracy Waal says, “We have invented a foreign species called Teenager. They live in ghettos called Schools. A few of them visit Christian ghettos called Youth Groups on weekends. We are afraid of what is becoming of this species, but all our answers seem to revolve around throwing more resources at the development of the ghettos.”
This division where both parties seem distant from one another, if not afraid, is the natural conclusion of age segregated ministry. If neither group rubs shoulders with one another, how can we expect any other outcome? Further, when such a gulf exists between “youth church” and “adult church,” why should we be surprised when our kids leave youth group and never come back to church? After spending years tucked away in the nursery and youth group, they largely see “adult church” as being alien and irrelevant to their lives once they graduate from their age-segregated cloister known as “youth group.” Sadly, our kids never end up seeing the church at large as theirs to begin with.
Many youth leaders have made these observations of the deleterious effects of “age segregation” so prevalent in the church today. Youth today are in desperate need of mature Christian influences, but kids church and youth group is structured in such a way that this mature influence is difficult, if not impossible, to come by. As a result of this isolation and segregation in their younger years, many believers who were raised in these traditional programs report that their knowledge of the mature Christian life remains incomplete even into adulthood.
As Dennis Muse, leader of The Crowded House reminds us, Jesus never said “'let the little children be packed away in the nursery” but rather He said, ‘let the little children come to me.’” Try to imagine, if you can, the children being led to Children's Church during the Sermon on the Mount. Such an idea is ridiculous! As integral parts of the body of Christ, should our children be segregated from us, or should they be part of our gatherings, free to worship Christ in the same manner we are? Is not children combining with their parents to worship Jesus far closer to God’s heart than our age-segregated inventions?
Are children really a deterrent to our own spiritual development as adults? Perhaps our children can instruct us about God as readily as we can instruct them. Jesus said that “unless you are like a little child, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Maybe Jesus really meant what he said, and our children have so much more to offer us spiritually than we as sophisticated adults might realize.
Further, the church as a whole needs to take seriously its mandate to provide spiritual leadership for the next generation to follow Jesus. This can’t be done by a faceless program, but must be done by every member of the church. Every member of the church must recognize that it is not only the job of those “called to youth ministry” to raise our children, but is the responsibility of each and every member of the Body of Christ. Both children and adults both need each other if they are to grow spiritually; adults need children to edify them and draw them closer to God, and children need adults to provide the mature leadership they so desperately need.
It would seem, then, that such an attitude of ministry to our children would preclude “age segregation” that is so prevalent in today’s churches. Imagine, if you will, a church where adults, children, and teens are integrated together as one as part of Christ’s body. Imagine a church where children are exposed to the real needs of the community at large, are encouraged to pray for them, and rejoice when God intervenes on their behalf. Imagine a church where children serve the poor alongside their parents and truly make a difference in the world outside the church’s walls. Imagine a church where our kids are surrounded on Sunday mornings by an extended family of spiritual aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine being a part of a church that truly is a church for people instead of a church for segregated market segments. Perhaps this would be the beginning of a revolution in youth ministry in our midst that is long overdue.
These divisions, unfortunately, create unique problems within the church, none larger than the trouble our youth eventually have in assimilating into the church at large. Our kids feel comfortable and at home in youth group, but the longer they’re in youth group, the more “adult church” seems like a foreign land. Though they feel to be part of the youth group, they don’t feel like part of the church at large. Our churches end up thus being a microcosm of our society at large, where teenagers have become a strange subculture of which adults are desperately afraid. As Tracy Waal says, “We have invented a foreign species called Teenager. They live in ghettos called Schools. A few of them visit Christian ghettos called Youth Groups on weekends. We are afraid of what is becoming of this species, but all our answers seem to revolve around throwing more resources at the development of the ghettos.”
This division where both parties seem distant from one another, if not afraid, is the natural conclusion of age segregated ministry. If neither group rubs shoulders with one another, how can we expect any other outcome? Further, when such a gulf exists between “youth church” and “adult church,” why should we be surprised when our kids leave youth group and never come back to church? After spending years tucked away in the nursery and youth group, they largely see “adult church” as being alien and irrelevant to their lives once they graduate from their age-segregated cloister known as “youth group.” Sadly, our kids never end up seeing the church at large as theirs to begin with.
Many youth leaders have made these observations of the deleterious effects of “age segregation” so prevalent in the church today. Youth today are in desperate need of mature Christian influences, but kids church and youth group is structured in such a way that this mature influence is difficult, if not impossible, to come by. As a result of this isolation and segregation in their younger years, many believers who were raised in these traditional programs report that their knowledge of the mature Christian life remains incomplete even into adulthood.
As Dennis Muse, leader of The Crowded House reminds us, Jesus never said “'let the little children be packed away in the nursery” but rather He said, ‘let the little children come to me.’” Try to imagine, if you can, the children being led to Children's Church during the Sermon on the Mount. Such an idea is ridiculous! As integral parts of the body of Christ, should our children be segregated from us, or should they be part of our gatherings, free to worship Christ in the same manner we are? Is not children combining with their parents to worship Jesus far closer to God’s heart than our age-segregated inventions?
Are children really a deterrent to our own spiritual development as adults? Perhaps our children can instruct us about God as readily as we can instruct them. Jesus said that “unless you are like a little child, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Maybe Jesus really meant what he said, and our children have so much more to offer us spiritually than we as sophisticated adults might realize.
Further, the church as a whole needs to take seriously its mandate to provide spiritual leadership for the next generation to follow Jesus. This can’t be done by a faceless program, but must be done by every member of the church. Every member of the church must recognize that it is not only the job of those “called to youth ministry” to raise our children, but is the responsibility of each and every member of the Body of Christ. Both children and adults both need each other if they are to grow spiritually; adults need children to edify them and draw them closer to God, and children need adults to provide the mature leadership they so desperately need.
It would seem, then, that such an attitude of ministry to our children would preclude “age segregation” that is so prevalent in today’s churches. Imagine, if you will, a church where adults, children, and teens are integrated together as one as part of Christ’s body. Imagine a church where children are exposed to the real needs of the community at large, are encouraged to pray for them, and rejoice when God intervenes on their behalf. Imagine a church where children serve the poor alongside their parents and truly make a difference in the world outside the church’s walls. Imagine a church where our kids are surrounded on Sunday mornings by an extended family of spiritual aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine being a part of a church that truly is a church for people instead of a church for segregated market segments. Perhaps this would be the beginning of a revolution in youth ministry in our midst that is long overdue.
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