Proverbs 20:5 reads, “the purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Truly, the depths of the human soul are staggering and beyond our grasp. Though unlike our Maker we are finite beings, Scripture is clear that we are indeed made in the image of this infinite, invisible God. As such, the human heart possesses a vastness, richness, and depth that we can never fully probe or understand. As 1 Corinthians 2 asks, “who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” Yet I must confess that as the years pass, I increasingly find I have been unaware of many of my own motives, fears, and hopes hidden deeply inside the recesses of my soul. I find I can scarcely understand the hidden stirrings of my own heart at times, much less those of another. Can anyone really say with honesty, even in the most intimate of marriages, that they fully understand their spouse and connect with them fully in the deepest reaches of their being? So it is to be made in the image of God, an infinite being Who it will take all eternity to fully appreciate and understand. How deep, eternal, and vast the human soul is in that reflection, with eternity set inside its unfathomable depths (Ecc. 3:11)! Truly, as the Psalmist says, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14) in the vastness and richness God has placed in our souls.
With this eternal glory of the human heart in view, CS Lewis wrote these well-known words: “ It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare… There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” If this is indeed true, there is no greater calling given to human beings than to accompany another in a journey of the heart towards God. This quest is not one towards mere intellectual acceptance of theological concepts or moral principles, but a transforming encounter of one’s soul with its infinite and divine Creator. To walk with another on such a soul journey, experiencing together the healing touch of the resurrected Jesus in the deepest reaches of their soul, is a calling that truly transcends time and space, and one to which all the other pursuits of life seem vain in comparison.
Yet how ironic that we persist in measuring ministry success in terms of buildings, bodies, and programs, all the while overlooking this far more noble and eternal calling of discipleship and spiritual companionship that God has given His people. How sad that Christ’s workers often live in a spirit of defeat, feeling they are a failure if their church plant does not grow in exponential fashion. Would laboring in obscurity be so difficult for us if we simply realized the enormous depth and value of just one human heart? Truly, a lifetime of struggle for the sake of His kingdom is but "a momentary and light affliction" (2 Cor. 4:17) compared to this glorious work. Cathedrals will crumble, ministries will fail, and the applause of others will fade; but the privilege of accompanying another on a journey towards their inner transformation will last and bear fruit through all of eternity.
Truly, there are no mere mortals among us. May this highest of callings Christ has given us to “go into all the world and make disciples” be our only passion in light of the unsurpassing riches hidden in just one human heart. It is the only eternal work that is worth devoting ourselves to.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Kids’ Ministry: A New Scorecard for Success
As we’ve discussed in our last few posts, though traditional churches may make every effort to reach our children, a consumer-based paradigm of children’s ministry has serious flaws. As one calls it, pep-rally, just add water Christianity has been tried and found wanting.
As we seek a church home for our children, we must ask ourselves what our highest goal really is. For indeed, if our only goal for our children is to keep them in the church, off the streets, and off of drugs, our current mode of youth ministry will do just fine. But if our goal is a higher one, that our children might passionately love Jesus, youth ministry as we know it needs a radical overhaul. Survey after survey underscores the indisputable nature of this truth.
Suppose your child spends his entire life in the church, and passes through children’s church, junior high church, and youth group unscathed. Suppose he or she is one of the 10-20% of kids that not only graduates from youth group, but stays in the church. If everything goes according to plan, and even if he bucks the odds and stays in the church after all is said and done, is he really any better off? Kids’ church and youth group as it is presently constructed will produce children just like us; interested in Jesus, but not fully dedicated; loving Jesus, yet loving themselves; having a heart for the lost, but having little impact; wanting adventure for God, but shackled by the American dream. I don’t know about you, but my hopes for my children are so much more than this. If my children aspire to being just like their old man, that is a sad state of affairs indeed. For if I remain the highest example of the successful Christian life to my children, unoffensive, meek, and mild, I have failed in my mentorship of them. My hope and prayer for my children is that they might transcend the meager example that I have set, and truly “turn the world upside down” as the early church did. I truly believe that this will only be possible if they know a different church world than I have, where radical service, countercultural living, and the contagious spread of the gospel is the rule rather than the exception.
As we seek a church home for our children, we must ask ourselves what our highest goal really is. For indeed, if our only goal for our children is to keep them in the church, off the streets, and off of drugs, our current mode of youth ministry will do just fine. But if our goal is a higher one, that our children might passionately love Jesus, youth ministry as we know it needs a radical overhaul. Survey after survey underscores the indisputable nature of this truth.
Suppose your child spends his entire life in the church, and passes through children’s church, junior high church, and youth group unscathed. Suppose he or she is one of the 10-20% of kids that not only graduates from youth group, but stays in the church. If everything goes according to plan, and even if he bucks the odds and stays in the church after all is said and done, is he really any better off? Kids’ church and youth group as it is presently constructed will produce children just like us; interested in Jesus, but not fully dedicated; loving Jesus, yet loving themselves; having a heart for the lost, but having little impact; wanting adventure for God, but shackled by the American dream. I don’t know about you, but my hopes for my children are so much more than this. If my children aspire to being just like their old man, that is a sad state of affairs indeed. For if I remain the highest example of the successful Christian life to my children, unoffensive, meek, and mild, I have failed in my mentorship of them. My hope and prayer for my children is that they might transcend the meager example that I have set, and truly “turn the world upside down” as the early church did. I truly believe that this will only be possible if they know a different church world than I have, where radical service, countercultural living, and the contagious spread of the gospel is the rule rather than the exception.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
A New Paradigm of Family Ministry
In our most recent posts, we’ve been exploring the failures of traditional children’s and youth ministry and discussing what a more Biblical pattern might look like. If we are to truly embrace a more bold and effective template for youth ministry, we must first recognize that parents, not youth ministers, should be the primary spiritual mentors for their children. The church must also realize that its ministries should be divided among family lines rather than age demographics. Further, a truly successful youth ministry must involve the equipping of parents to fulfill the mentorship role for their children.
As previously discussed, it’s clear that “just add water” youth events and whimsical play areas do little to impact our children’s long term spiritual growth. Rather, the spiritual growth of our children always begins in the home. With this in mind, former youth pastor Ray Baumann once made a startling statement: “Youth ministries would be unnecessary if the believers took their mandate to parent seriously.” He goes on to say, “the last place I want my kids to hear about Jesus is on Sunday.” The most important life lessons that children need to learn are impressed upon children by their parents “along the road”, imparted to them in the context of daily living and through a loving mentoring relationship (Deut. 6:7). This is consistent even with the teachings of Jesus, who conducted some of his most meaningful discussions with his disciples between events, “along the road” to their destinations. Research among adolescents confirms these ideas: studies show that the more often families eat together, the better their moral, spiritual, and academic outcomes. How ironic that family meal time together, a far better indicator of our children’s spiritual outcomes, can often be pushed aside by social events at the church! Rather than busying our children with a myriad of church programs, sports, or other extracurricular activities, perhaps our children’s long term spiritual vitality would improve if we as parents simply spent more time with our children and took seriously our mandate to instruct them in God’s ways.
It is beyond dispute that no one can raise our children “in the nuture and admonition of the Lord” to the same extent that parents are able, youth pastors included. Yet, as any Christian parent will attest, this mandate is not an easy task. Our natural inclination, when feeling overwhelmed by such a responsibility, is to defer to the “faith specialists” in this area. It is certainly easier to let a faceless program disciple our children than to do it ourselves, even if that program does have a high failure rate. Too many parents feel they have neither authority or wisdom to offer their teenage children. Consequently, many Christian parents have come to believe that raising up their children to love Jesus simply means dropping them off at the various youth events the church offers, with hopes that these efforts alone will foster their spiritual growth.
But what does it look like to really disciple our kids, then? If age segregation and outsourcing to specialists isn’t the answer, what would a better option look like? I believe it starts with the church’s efforts to build into the family as a whole rather than the child as an individual. Its efforts to reach the younger generation must primarily be aimed at bringing the family together in a manner that bridges the generational gaps between its members. Above all, it attempts to make the family the highest priority within the church without the use of age segregation.
For instance, instead of a weekly service that is designed solely for adults, a more organic meeting is a great first step. Rather than avoiding our children in hopes they don’t distract us, children are free to contribute in an organic meeting, as families are able to share in the experience together. In all church endeavors, both Sunday morning meetings and beyond, this church would seek to provide shared experiences for all members of the family collectively.
Second, a new template for family ministry involves a family oriented approach to serving. This new paradigm attempts to divide church ministry into teams of families rather than teams of age demographics. Instead of separating serving projects according to age segments, the church’s serving events are separated into teams of families. This allows parents and children to share in the experience together, and allows parents to demonstrate to their children first-hand what the gospel looks like in action. Families are encouraged to pioneer their own methods of serving the community, in schools, in their neighborhoods, in parks, and on the streets. Youth ministry is not pre-programmed by religious specialists, but is engineered by families and children rising up to meet the challenge. This family oriented model of serving would foster the building of authentic gospel values within the family unit to a much greater extent than traditional models.
Thirdly, this view of family ministry would seek above all to protect and proclaim the value of family time together. The American family has so little time together today; why disrupt family time for the sake of church events? Rather than robbing families of their precious time together by replacing it with church programs, this new paradigm of family ministry recognizes the sanctity of family time. A truly family-based ministry approach must make family time a primary value of the church. This stands in stark contrast with a culture that values busyness over depth and honors production over intimacy.
This list is by no means exhaustive. Part of this new approach to family ministry recognizes the limitless possibilities in this pursuit, and empowers both parents and children to rise up and bridge the gap so prevalent in families today. Ultimately, the answers to these needs of our families will not be answered by youth ministry experts but by teams of father and daughter, mother and son. As relationships are built between parents and their children, and between the church and its children, our children’s long term spiritual growth will be positively affected. I believe that such a grass-roots, participatory approach to “bridging the spiritual gap” within families will produce fruit in our children’s lives as no age-segregated model is able to do.
In agreement with these concepts, Tracy Waal said this after 14 years of youth ministry: “Personal experience in youth ministry shows me that the #1 indicator of a teen’s spiritual longevity and commitment is the degree to which parents are involved in their kid’s spiritual development. The #2 indicator is the degree in which a teen connects with an older spiritual mentor outside the youth group.” A successful new paradigm for youth ministry must serve to make both of these relationships a reality.
As previously discussed, it’s clear that “just add water” youth events and whimsical play areas do little to impact our children’s long term spiritual growth. Rather, the spiritual growth of our children always begins in the home. With this in mind, former youth pastor Ray Baumann once made a startling statement: “Youth ministries would be unnecessary if the believers took their mandate to parent seriously.” He goes on to say, “the last place I want my kids to hear about Jesus is on Sunday.” The most important life lessons that children need to learn are impressed upon children by their parents “along the road”, imparted to them in the context of daily living and through a loving mentoring relationship (Deut. 6:7). This is consistent even with the teachings of Jesus, who conducted some of his most meaningful discussions with his disciples between events, “along the road” to their destinations. Research among adolescents confirms these ideas: studies show that the more often families eat together, the better their moral, spiritual, and academic outcomes. How ironic that family meal time together, a far better indicator of our children’s spiritual outcomes, can often be pushed aside by social events at the church! Rather than busying our children with a myriad of church programs, sports, or other extracurricular activities, perhaps our children’s long term spiritual vitality would improve if we as parents simply spent more time with our children and took seriously our mandate to instruct them in God’s ways.
It is beyond dispute that no one can raise our children “in the nuture and admonition of the Lord” to the same extent that parents are able, youth pastors included. Yet, as any Christian parent will attest, this mandate is not an easy task. Our natural inclination, when feeling overwhelmed by such a responsibility, is to defer to the “faith specialists” in this area. It is certainly easier to let a faceless program disciple our children than to do it ourselves, even if that program does have a high failure rate. Too many parents feel they have neither authority or wisdom to offer their teenage children. Consequently, many Christian parents have come to believe that raising up their children to love Jesus simply means dropping them off at the various youth events the church offers, with hopes that these efforts alone will foster their spiritual growth.
But what does it look like to really disciple our kids, then? If age segregation and outsourcing to specialists isn’t the answer, what would a better option look like? I believe it starts with the church’s efforts to build into the family as a whole rather than the child as an individual. Its efforts to reach the younger generation must primarily be aimed at bringing the family together in a manner that bridges the generational gaps between its members. Above all, it attempts to make the family the highest priority within the church without the use of age segregation.
For instance, instead of a weekly service that is designed solely for adults, a more organic meeting is a great first step. Rather than avoiding our children in hopes they don’t distract us, children are free to contribute in an organic meeting, as families are able to share in the experience together. In all church endeavors, both Sunday morning meetings and beyond, this church would seek to provide shared experiences for all members of the family collectively.
Second, a new template for family ministry involves a family oriented approach to serving. This new paradigm attempts to divide church ministry into teams of families rather than teams of age demographics. Instead of separating serving projects according to age segments, the church’s serving events are separated into teams of families. This allows parents and children to share in the experience together, and allows parents to demonstrate to their children first-hand what the gospel looks like in action. Families are encouraged to pioneer their own methods of serving the community, in schools, in their neighborhoods, in parks, and on the streets. Youth ministry is not pre-programmed by religious specialists, but is engineered by families and children rising up to meet the challenge. This family oriented model of serving would foster the building of authentic gospel values within the family unit to a much greater extent than traditional models.
Thirdly, this view of family ministry would seek above all to protect and proclaim the value of family time together. The American family has so little time together today; why disrupt family time for the sake of church events? Rather than robbing families of their precious time together by replacing it with church programs, this new paradigm of family ministry recognizes the sanctity of family time. A truly family-based ministry approach must make family time a primary value of the church. This stands in stark contrast with a culture that values busyness over depth and honors production over intimacy.
This list is by no means exhaustive. Part of this new approach to family ministry recognizes the limitless possibilities in this pursuit, and empowers both parents and children to rise up and bridge the gap so prevalent in families today. Ultimately, the answers to these needs of our families will not be answered by youth ministry experts but by teams of father and daughter, mother and son. As relationships are built between parents and their children, and between the church and its children, our children’s long term spiritual growth will be positively affected. I believe that such a grass-roots, participatory approach to “bridging the spiritual gap” within families will produce fruit in our children’s lives as no age-segregated model is able to do.
In agreement with these concepts, Tracy Waal said this after 14 years of youth ministry: “Personal experience in youth ministry shows me that the #1 indicator of a teen’s spiritual longevity and commitment is the degree to which parents are involved in their kid’s spiritual development. The #2 indicator is the degree in which a teen connects with an older spiritual mentor outside the youth group.” A successful new paradigm for youth ministry must serve to make both of these relationships a reality.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Failure of Age Segregation
In previous posts, we’ve discussed the failure of traditional paradigms of youth ministry. The reasons for its shortcomings are myriad , but none of them is larger than the age segregation that these ministries employ . Today, instead of the church becoming a church for families, the church has increasingly sought to appeal to each family member as individuals rather than collectively. There is church for children, church for high schoolers, and church for adults. On the surface, this separation according to age seems innocent, even necessary, but think of the division it causes within a church. Unintentionally, too often these ministries have become “churches within a church,” each having its own niche in the market but seldom, if ever, crossing paths with one another.
These divisions, unfortunately, create unique problems within the church, none larger than the trouble our youth eventually have in assimilating into the church at large. Our kids feel comfortable and at home in youth group, but the longer they’re in youth group, the more “adult church” seems like a foreign land. Though they feel to be part of the youth group, they don’t feel like part of the church at large. Our churches end up thus being a microcosm of our society at large, where teenagers have become a strange subculture of which adults are desperately afraid. As Tracy Waal says, “We have invented a foreign species called Teenager. They live in ghettos called Schools. A few of them visit Christian ghettos called Youth Groups on weekends. We are afraid of what is becoming of this species, but all our answers seem to revolve around throwing more resources at the development of the ghettos.”
This division where both parties seem distant from one another, if not afraid, is the natural conclusion of age segregated ministry. If neither group rubs shoulders with one another, how can we expect any other outcome? Further, when such a gulf exists between “youth church” and “adult church,” why should we be surprised when our kids leave youth group and never come back to church? After spending years tucked away in the nursery and youth group, they largely see “adult church” as being alien and irrelevant to their lives once they graduate from their age-segregated cloister known as “youth group.” Sadly, our kids never end up seeing the church at large as theirs to begin with.
Many youth leaders have made these observations of the deleterious effects of “age segregation” so prevalent in the church today. Youth today are in desperate need of mature Christian influences, but kids church and youth group is structured in such a way that this mature influence is difficult, if not impossible, to come by. As a result of this isolation and segregation in their younger years, many believers who were raised in these traditional programs report that their knowledge of the mature Christian life remains incomplete even into adulthood.
As Dennis Muse, leader of The Crowded House reminds us, Jesus never said “'let the little children be packed away in the nursery” but rather He said, ‘let the little children come to me.’” Try to imagine, if you can, the children being led to Children's Church during the Sermon on the Mount. Such an idea is ridiculous! As integral parts of the body of Christ, should our children be segregated from us, or should they be part of our gatherings, free to worship Christ in the same manner we are? Is not children combining with their parents to worship Jesus far closer to God’s heart than our age-segregated inventions?
Are children really a deterrent to our own spiritual development as adults? Perhaps our children can instruct us about God as readily as we can instruct them. Jesus said that “unless you are like a little child, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Maybe Jesus really meant what he said, and our children have so much more to offer us spiritually than we as sophisticated adults might realize.
Further, the church as a whole needs to take seriously its mandate to provide spiritual leadership for the next generation to follow Jesus. This can’t be done by a faceless program, but must be done by every member of the church. Every member of the church must recognize that it is not only the job of those “called to youth ministry” to raise our children, but is the responsibility of each and every member of the Body of Christ. Both children and adults both need each other if they are to grow spiritually; adults need children to edify them and draw them closer to God, and children need adults to provide the mature leadership they so desperately need.
It would seem, then, that such an attitude of ministry to our children would preclude “age segregation” that is so prevalent in today’s churches. Imagine, if you will, a church where adults, children, and teens are integrated together as one as part of Christ’s body. Imagine a church where children are exposed to the real needs of the community at large, are encouraged to pray for them, and rejoice when God intervenes on their behalf. Imagine a church where children serve the poor alongside their parents and truly make a difference in the world outside the church’s walls. Imagine a church where our kids are surrounded on Sunday mornings by an extended family of spiritual aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine being a part of a church that truly is a church for people instead of a church for segregated market segments. Perhaps this would be the beginning of a revolution in youth ministry in our midst that is long overdue.
These divisions, unfortunately, create unique problems within the church, none larger than the trouble our youth eventually have in assimilating into the church at large. Our kids feel comfortable and at home in youth group, but the longer they’re in youth group, the more “adult church” seems like a foreign land. Though they feel to be part of the youth group, they don’t feel like part of the church at large. Our churches end up thus being a microcosm of our society at large, where teenagers have become a strange subculture of which adults are desperately afraid. As Tracy Waal says, “We have invented a foreign species called Teenager. They live in ghettos called Schools. A few of them visit Christian ghettos called Youth Groups on weekends. We are afraid of what is becoming of this species, but all our answers seem to revolve around throwing more resources at the development of the ghettos.”
This division where both parties seem distant from one another, if not afraid, is the natural conclusion of age segregated ministry. If neither group rubs shoulders with one another, how can we expect any other outcome? Further, when such a gulf exists between “youth church” and “adult church,” why should we be surprised when our kids leave youth group and never come back to church? After spending years tucked away in the nursery and youth group, they largely see “adult church” as being alien and irrelevant to their lives once they graduate from their age-segregated cloister known as “youth group.” Sadly, our kids never end up seeing the church at large as theirs to begin with.
Many youth leaders have made these observations of the deleterious effects of “age segregation” so prevalent in the church today. Youth today are in desperate need of mature Christian influences, but kids church and youth group is structured in such a way that this mature influence is difficult, if not impossible, to come by. As a result of this isolation and segregation in their younger years, many believers who were raised in these traditional programs report that their knowledge of the mature Christian life remains incomplete even into adulthood.
As Dennis Muse, leader of The Crowded House reminds us, Jesus never said “'let the little children be packed away in the nursery” but rather He said, ‘let the little children come to me.’” Try to imagine, if you can, the children being led to Children's Church during the Sermon on the Mount. Such an idea is ridiculous! As integral parts of the body of Christ, should our children be segregated from us, or should they be part of our gatherings, free to worship Christ in the same manner we are? Is not children combining with their parents to worship Jesus far closer to God’s heart than our age-segregated inventions?
Are children really a deterrent to our own spiritual development as adults? Perhaps our children can instruct us about God as readily as we can instruct them. Jesus said that “unless you are like a little child, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Maybe Jesus really meant what he said, and our children have so much more to offer us spiritually than we as sophisticated adults might realize.
Further, the church as a whole needs to take seriously its mandate to provide spiritual leadership for the next generation to follow Jesus. This can’t be done by a faceless program, but must be done by every member of the church. Every member of the church must recognize that it is not only the job of those “called to youth ministry” to raise our children, but is the responsibility of each and every member of the Body of Christ. Both children and adults both need each other if they are to grow spiritually; adults need children to edify them and draw them closer to God, and children need adults to provide the mature leadership they so desperately need.
It would seem, then, that such an attitude of ministry to our children would preclude “age segregation” that is so prevalent in today’s churches. Imagine, if you will, a church where adults, children, and teens are integrated together as one as part of Christ’s body. Imagine a church where children are exposed to the real needs of the community at large, are encouraged to pray for them, and rejoice when God intervenes on their behalf. Imagine a church where children serve the poor alongside their parents and truly make a difference in the world outside the church’s walls. Imagine a church where our kids are surrounded on Sunday mornings by an extended family of spiritual aunts, uncles, and cousins. Imagine being a part of a church that truly is a church for people instead of a church for segregated market segments. Perhaps this would be the beginning of a revolution in youth ministry in our midst that is long overdue.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Youth Ministry and Consumerism
In our previous posts, we’ve discussed the failure of traditional children’s and youth programs in the church. As recent studies and our own experience has shown, perhaps programmed, Hollywood quality kids’ ministry isn’t quite the answer for our kids that we’ve hoped for, and an entirely new paradigm is needed if they are to grow up and love Jesus passionately. But what might such a new paradigm look like?
First, a new approach to kid’s ministry must first begin with the rejection of consumerism. Churches are in constant competition with the church down the street to “wow” the kids and woo suburban families who are on a mission to find a church home that’s “best for their kids.” Many youth pastors will admit that much of today’s “youth ministry” is simply elaborate attempts to keep the kids entertained, keeping them in the church, and furthering their position as consumers and “takers”. Though very well intentioned, much of the emphasis of kids’ ministry today is on “fun”: fun kid spaces, fun games, fun songs, and fun pizza parties. It’s not the church’s fault this is the case, nor is it the students’; it’s the inevitable reality produced by today’s consumer church climate. Everyone knows that if the kids don’t have fun at your church, they’ll have it at the church down the street, and you’ll lose the opportunity to minister to those kids.
I am not at all saying that kids and youth ministry can’t or shouldn’t be fun. No kid wants to go to church and be bored to tears. Bands and lock ins, social events and games have their place in youth ministry; but it’s important to recognize that their effectiveness is limited. If our only goals for our kids are to keep them off the streets, off drugs and in church on Sundays, these things are of tremendous value. If mere sin avoidance is the goal, simple entertainment might hold the answer for our youth. However, if our goal for our kids is transcendence of American consumerism, full devotion to Christ, passionate evangelism, and countercultural living in adolescence and beyond, a radically different model is needed.
Your child might enjoy going to traditional kids’ church on Sunday morning, and that’s great. The highlight of his week might be Sunday morning, and that’s a good thing. He might even learn a few Bible verses, and that’s fantastic. But on a deeper level, is that experience changing him for the better? Does that ministry help him better exhibit the fruits of the Spirit? As a result of his Sunday morning experience, does he love better? Does he have more self control? It is these outcomes that should be the benchmark for a youth ministry’s success. To quote the Barna Group’s David Kinneman: “A new standard for viable youth ministry should be- not the number of attenders, the sophistication of the events, or the ‘cool’ factor of the youth group - but whether teens have the commitment, passion and resources to pursue Christ intentionally and wholeheartedly after they leave the youth ministry nest." I wonder if we define success in youth ministry in far different terms than we should.
Perhaps our best efforts at youth ministries have failed because they don’t offer our children enough. Perhaps many of today’s youth ministries offer mere fleeting diversion to our children when they should be offering them a call to radical living instead. Shane Claiborne suggests that if our youth leave the church, it isn’t because we don’t entertain them enough, but because we don’t dare them enough. Perhaps they reject the gospel not because we make it too difficult, but because we make it too easy. As another has said, we significantly cheat our children when we imply by our actions that vital discipleship can exist without a life of evangelism and compassionate service. It is only when our children see the radical alternative Christ offers to consumer living that they will truly embrace His call to live for Him.
For this reason, a radical church should offer its youth a call to something more. Imagine a youth ministry where our kids are encouraged to not settle for mere entertainment, but seek to make a difference in the world at large. Imagine a church where our children and teenagers see their parents knee deep in the needs of a world desperate for Christ instead of mired in the quicksand of consumerism. Imagine a church where our youth witness the mighty and miraculous hand of God in their midst on a regular basis. Imagine a church that is built on the premise that true believers give rather than receive. This is the kind of church that has the potential to change the world, one generation at a time.
First, a new approach to kid’s ministry must first begin with the rejection of consumerism. Churches are in constant competition with the church down the street to “wow” the kids and woo suburban families who are on a mission to find a church home that’s “best for their kids.” Many youth pastors will admit that much of today’s “youth ministry” is simply elaborate attempts to keep the kids entertained, keeping them in the church, and furthering their position as consumers and “takers”. Though very well intentioned, much of the emphasis of kids’ ministry today is on “fun”: fun kid spaces, fun games, fun songs, and fun pizza parties. It’s not the church’s fault this is the case, nor is it the students’; it’s the inevitable reality produced by today’s consumer church climate. Everyone knows that if the kids don’t have fun at your church, they’ll have it at the church down the street, and you’ll lose the opportunity to minister to those kids.
I am not at all saying that kids and youth ministry can’t or shouldn’t be fun. No kid wants to go to church and be bored to tears. Bands and lock ins, social events and games have their place in youth ministry; but it’s important to recognize that their effectiveness is limited. If our only goals for our kids are to keep them off the streets, off drugs and in church on Sundays, these things are of tremendous value. If mere sin avoidance is the goal, simple entertainment might hold the answer for our youth. However, if our goal for our kids is transcendence of American consumerism, full devotion to Christ, passionate evangelism, and countercultural living in adolescence and beyond, a radically different model is needed.
Your child might enjoy going to traditional kids’ church on Sunday morning, and that’s great. The highlight of his week might be Sunday morning, and that’s a good thing. He might even learn a few Bible verses, and that’s fantastic. But on a deeper level, is that experience changing him for the better? Does that ministry help him better exhibit the fruits of the Spirit? As a result of his Sunday morning experience, does he love better? Does he have more self control? It is these outcomes that should be the benchmark for a youth ministry’s success. To quote the Barna Group’s David Kinneman: “A new standard for viable youth ministry should be- not the number of attenders, the sophistication of the events, or the ‘cool’ factor of the youth group - but whether teens have the commitment, passion and resources to pursue Christ intentionally and wholeheartedly after they leave the youth ministry nest." I wonder if we define success in youth ministry in far different terms than we should.
Perhaps our best efforts at youth ministries have failed because they don’t offer our children enough. Perhaps many of today’s youth ministries offer mere fleeting diversion to our children when they should be offering them a call to radical living instead. Shane Claiborne suggests that if our youth leave the church, it isn’t because we don’t entertain them enough, but because we don’t dare them enough. Perhaps they reject the gospel not because we make it too difficult, but because we make it too easy. As another has said, we significantly cheat our children when we imply by our actions that vital discipleship can exist without a life of evangelism and compassionate service. It is only when our children see the radical alternative Christ offers to consumer living that they will truly embrace His call to live for Him.
For this reason, a radical church should offer its youth a call to something more. Imagine a youth ministry where our kids are encouraged to not settle for mere entertainment, but seek to make a difference in the world at large. Imagine a church where our children and teenagers see their parents knee deep in the needs of a world desperate for Christ instead of mired in the quicksand of consumerism. Imagine a church where our youth witness the mighty and miraculous hand of God in their midst on a regular basis. Imagine a church that is built on the premise that true believers give rather than receive. This is the kind of church that has the potential to change the world, one generation at a time.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Failure of Traditional Youth Ministry
In our last post, we posed this simple question: do traditional children’s and youth ministries really produce children who love Jesus? One would think that the more time, effort, and money is spent in a church’s youth ministry, the better their kids’ long-term outcomes will be. But is this assumption really correct?
A few years ago, a major church denomination did an exhaustive study of their young people’s experience in church. The children studied were those “born under the altar;” they were in attendance at the church's youth programs since birth virtually every time the church doors were open. This denomination sought to know what percentage of these kids stayed in the church once they were free to make their own decisions regarding attendance. They found that at the conclusion of high school, 95% of these students left the church and never returned.
The findings of this study may sound shocking, but they are well in line with what other studies have revealed. The Southern Baptist Convention’s Council on Family Life reports that some 88 percent of children from evangelical homes leave the church shortly after graduation. To lay the blame at the feet of the “godless university” is unfounded; no statistical difference exists between those who attend college and those who do not. Similar research in New Zealand showed that 80% of students raised in youth group will abandon their faith in the first year after their graduation. George Barna’s recent research among twentysomethings revealed that only 20% of those in their early 20s who were raised in a youth group describe themselves as maintaining the same level of spirituality they had in high school.
In response to this data, the Barna Group’s David Kinnaman offered several insights. To quote Kinneman: "Much of the ministry to teenagers in America needs an overhaul - not because churches fail to attract significant numbers of young people, but because so much of those efforts are not creating a sustainable faith beyond high school. There are certainly effective youth ministries across the country, but the levels of disengagement among twentysomethings suggest that youth ministry fails too often at discipleship and faith formation.”
In contrast to these discouraging findings, however, a major missionary organization did a similar study, wanting to know how many of their kids (MKs),, raised in missionary homes in the missionary lifestyle, returned to the mission as adults. Bear in mind that these individuals had to not only return to a foreign land on their own, but raise their own support to do so as well. Much to the mission agency’s surprise, about 95% of their MKs came back to the mission as adults.
These findings are staggering. If children’s and youth ministries are really worthy of the importance we place upon them, one would expect a clear, almost linear relationship between church attendance as an adult and their experience in the church as children. Further, for those raised outside of the church, without the benefit of these programs, we would expect that their adherence to Christ would fade as a result if they are indeed as effective as claimed. Yet we find the exact opposite to be the case! How can children who are raised without the benefit of special youth ministries end up better off in the end?
It’s also no secret that surveys show no appreciable difference between the moral and sexual behavior of Christian vs. non-Christian youth. Research done by Campus Crusade for Christ shows similar findings. Based on their research, Campus Crusade’s Josh McDowell and Ron Luce have issued a joint statement: "Incredible as it may seem, ‘accepting Christ' and making a profession of faith makes little to no difference in a young person's attitudes and behaviors. The majority of our churched young people are adopting ‘a Christianity' but it is not true Christianity.” They found the findings of their study so compelling that they concluded: "We are at a crossroads where a fundamental change is required within youth ministry. We need more than a retooling—nothing short of a 21st century God-sent spiritual revolution will save this generation." Incredibly, 98% of youth pastors polled agree with McDowell and Luce's assessment.
For all the emphasis we place on kids and youth ministry today, we would expect different results than these. Perhaps programmed, Hollywood quality kids’ ministry isn’t quite the answer we’ve hoped for, and an entirely new paradigm is needed. But if kids and youth ministry in this country needs an overhaul, what should it look like? We will discuss this further in our next post.
A few years ago, a major church denomination did an exhaustive study of their young people’s experience in church. The children studied were those “born under the altar;” they were in attendance at the church's youth programs since birth virtually every time the church doors were open. This denomination sought to know what percentage of these kids stayed in the church once they were free to make their own decisions regarding attendance. They found that at the conclusion of high school, 95% of these students left the church and never returned.
The findings of this study may sound shocking, but they are well in line with what other studies have revealed. The Southern Baptist Convention’s Council on Family Life reports that some 88 percent of children from evangelical homes leave the church shortly after graduation. To lay the blame at the feet of the “godless university” is unfounded; no statistical difference exists between those who attend college and those who do not. Similar research in New Zealand showed that 80% of students raised in youth group will abandon their faith in the first year after their graduation. George Barna’s recent research among twentysomethings revealed that only 20% of those in their early 20s who were raised in a youth group describe themselves as maintaining the same level of spirituality they had in high school.
In response to this data, the Barna Group’s David Kinnaman offered several insights. To quote Kinneman: "Much of the ministry to teenagers in America needs an overhaul - not because churches fail to attract significant numbers of young people, but because so much of those efforts are not creating a sustainable faith beyond high school. There are certainly effective youth ministries across the country, but the levels of disengagement among twentysomethings suggest that youth ministry fails too often at discipleship and faith formation.”
In contrast to these discouraging findings, however, a major missionary organization did a similar study, wanting to know how many of their kids (MKs),, raised in missionary homes in the missionary lifestyle, returned to the mission as adults. Bear in mind that these individuals had to not only return to a foreign land on their own, but raise their own support to do so as well. Much to the mission agency’s surprise, about 95% of their MKs came back to the mission as adults.
These findings are staggering. If children’s and youth ministries are really worthy of the importance we place upon them, one would expect a clear, almost linear relationship between church attendance as an adult and their experience in the church as children. Further, for those raised outside of the church, without the benefit of these programs, we would expect that their adherence to Christ would fade as a result if they are indeed as effective as claimed. Yet we find the exact opposite to be the case! How can children who are raised without the benefit of special youth ministries end up better off in the end?
It’s also no secret that surveys show no appreciable difference between the moral and sexual behavior of Christian vs. non-Christian youth. Research done by Campus Crusade for Christ shows similar findings. Based on their research, Campus Crusade’s Josh McDowell and Ron Luce have issued a joint statement: "Incredible as it may seem, ‘accepting Christ' and making a profession of faith makes little to no difference in a young person's attitudes and behaviors. The majority of our churched young people are adopting ‘a Christianity' but it is not true Christianity.” They found the findings of their study so compelling that they concluded: "We are at a crossroads where a fundamental change is required within youth ministry. We need more than a retooling—nothing short of a 21st century God-sent spiritual revolution will save this generation." Incredibly, 98% of youth pastors polled agree with McDowell and Luce's assessment.
For all the emphasis we place on kids and youth ministry today, we would expect different results than these. Perhaps programmed, Hollywood quality kids’ ministry isn’t quite the answer we’ve hoped for, and an entirely new paradigm is needed. But if kids and youth ministry in this country needs an overhaul, what should it look like? We will discuss this further in our next post.
Friday, September 3, 2010
“What About The Children?”
As Helen Lovejoy so famously uttered in “The Simpsons”, “What about the children! Won't anyone think of the children?" In any discussion about a new paradigm of church, it is this very question that looms large: What about the children? What role should they play in a radical church?” We must answer these questions if we are to clear the fog on what a new, radical kind of church might look like.
Prevailing assumptions about kids and youth ministry make it difficult for an alternative vision of church to become a reality in the middle class suburbs that so many of us call home. The greatest desire for many a Christian suburbanite is to find a church home that will meet their family’s needs, especially their children. Traditional thinking says that this should be done by finding the church that offers the highest quality “youth programs.” To this end, traditional churches trip over themselves trying to provide the highest quality experience they can for the kids. Between fountains, mascots, songs, skits, and interactive lessons, there is always something in most church’s kids ministry that will hold their attention. And as a general rule, the larger the church, the greater the children’s experience will be on Sunday mornings.
This traditional view of children’s ministry is undergirded by several main assumptions. First, churches reason that if children enjoy coming to church, their parents will be much more willing to come themselves. Second, it is assumed that the impartation of Biblical knowledge that occurs along the way will result in a change in our children’s behavior; right knowledge, it is reasoned, naturally will result in right behavior. This is the underlying presupposition of Western models of learning. It is also assumed that a positive experience in children’s church as a youngster will translate into greater adherence to Christ and His principles as one grows older. As the book of Proverbs says, “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). As Christian parents, all of us share this desire, and as we seek to raise our children in the “nuture and admonition of the Lord,” we long to see our children continue in Christ as the years pass, which causes us to seek the best church possible for our kids.
As the traditional view of children’s ministry unfolds, our attention turns to youth group as they grow up. Above all else, we desire our children to spend their teen years in love with Jesus, on fire for His name and living the adventure that Christ has created them to live. In a world where drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, and the pressures of the world abound, our fears that they will abandon the faith of their youth loom large. Above all else, teens value relationships with and the approval of their peers, and without that Christian peer influence in their lives, how will they escape the lure of the world and live their lives with single devotion to Christ?
Certainly the answer must be found in youth group, we would think. If our son or daughter, in the formative teen years, is highly involved in a church youth group, it would seem, our fears will prove unfounded. With a solid mentor relationship with a highly trained youth leader, a peer group free from the influences of a godless society, and an entertaining, drug-free environment to attend each week, perhaps youth group will prove to be the antidote to the lure of the world that sidetracks so many in their younger years.
The emphasis we place on the importance of children’s and youth group cannot be overstated. The experience that a church offers one’s children is probably the number one factor that influences where a family will make their church home. But the emphasis we place on these youth ministries is only reasonable if our basic assumptions are correct: that today’s youth ministries are powerful and effective in producing kids who love God.
But are today’s youth ministries as effective as we might think? We’ll explore this question in our next post.
Prevailing assumptions about kids and youth ministry make it difficult for an alternative vision of church to become a reality in the middle class suburbs that so many of us call home. The greatest desire for many a Christian suburbanite is to find a church home that will meet their family’s needs, especially their children. Traditional thinking says that this should be done by finding the church that offers the highest quality “youth programs.” To this end, traditional churches trip over themselves trying to provide the highest quality experience they can for the kids. Between fountains, mascots, songs, skits, and interactive lessons, there is always something in most church’s kids ministry that will hold their attention. And as a general rule, the larger the church, the greater the children’s experience will be on Sunday mornings.
This traditional view of children’s ministry is undergirded by several main assumptions. First, churches reason that if children enjoy coming to church, their parents will be much more willing to come themselves. Second, it is assumed that the impartation of Biblical knowledge that occurs along the way will result in a change in our children’s behavior; right knowledge, it is reasoned, naturally will result in right behavior. This is the underlying presupposition of Western models of learning. It is also assumed that a positive experience in children’s church as a youngster will translate into greater adherence to Christ and His principles as one grows older. As the book of Proverbs says, “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). As Christian parents, all of us share this desire, and as we seek to raise our children in the “nuture and admonition of the Lord,” we long to see our children continue in Christ as the years pass, which causes us to seek the best church possible for our kids.
As the traditional view of children’s ministry unfolds, our attention turns to youth group as they grow up. Above all else, we desire our children to spend their teen years in love with Jesus, on fire for His name and living the adventure that Christ has created them to live. In a world where drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, and the pressures of the world abound, our fears that they will abandon the faith of their youth loom large. Above all else, teens value relationships with and the approval of their peers, and without that Christian peer influence in their lives, how will they escape the lure of the world and live their lives with single devotion to Christ?
Certainly the answer must be found in youth group, we would think. If our son or daughter, in the formative teen years, is highly involved in a church youth group, it would seem, our fears will prove unfounded. With a solid mentor relationship with a highly trained youth leader, a peer group free from the influences of a godless society, and an entertaining, drug-free environment to attend each week, perhaps youth group will prove to be the antidote to the lure of the world that sidetracks so many in their younger years.
The emphasis we place on the importance of children’s and youth group cannot be overstated. The experience that a church offers one’s children is probably the number one factor that influences where a family will make their church home. But the emphasis we place on these youth ministries is only reasonable if our basic assumptions are correct: that today’s youth ministries are powerful and effective in producing kids who love God.
But are today’s youth ministries as effective as we might think? We’ll explore this question in our next post.
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